Harmon’s Histories: Dad survives daughter’s Old West wedding!

By Jim Harmon

The main street through Cave Creek, Arizona looks like a Wild West version of the Las Vegas Strip.

According to a visitors guide, the place was “established as a gold mining town and stopping point for the U.S. Cavalry in the mid-1870s.”

The locals have done a great job of making Cave Creek appear much as it would have back in the day.

“Cave Creek,” according to the visitors guide, “features several saloons, western shops, rodeo events, galleries and live music. Throw in some championship golf, several unique southwest jewelry shops and numerous other specialty stores and you have a ‘must visit’ location just minutes, but a time warp away, from nearby Phoenix and Scottsdale.”

For a variety of reasons, my daughter and her fiance chose this place, at this time to be married. The venue is great. The date, not so much.

The weather gurus predict a temperature well into the 90s, if not approaching 100 degrees, the afternoon of the outdoor nuptials.

And of course, I will be walking the bride down the aisle ... er ... dusty trail, in this case, in my newly purchased suit of appropriate wedding-themed-color: light gray with a pink tie.

Coat and tie. Near 100 degrees. Outdoors. Enough said. Could I have a bit of sympathy, here?

On the plus side, I do have a little battery powered hand-held fan, but my wife tells me it wouldn’t be appropriate to hold any such device while walking the bride down that dusty trail to the altar ... er ... hitching post.

No offense intended, daughter, but in weather like that, my mind may drift to thoughts of nearby air-conditioned places like Stumblina’s Cantina or the Cryin’ Coyote Barbecue bar.

And I worry that my heat-addled brain may also wander off to wedding traditions. Will everything be done properly? Will the groom place the ring on the proper finger? Oh dear! What if his mind is affected by the blazing heat, and he puts the ring on the wrong finger?

Then again, why in the world was that finger chosen as the ring finger, anyway? Why not the pinkie finger?

Well, it seems “the ring finger was chosen (because it’s) the least active finger and therefore the safest to wear the ring upon; and also for the sentimental reason that it is supposed to contain a blood vein that connects directly with the heart, so ‘As your wedding ring wears, You'll live out your cares.’ ”

The origin of the wedding veil is uncertain. One story claims it originated with the Greeks and Romans. The bride would be “entirely enshrouded during the bridal ceremony by a flaming yellow veil.” Geez. I hope they had a fire extinguisher handy, ha ha!

Anyway, wreaths, veils and such fell out of fashion for a time. In 1759, the Earl of Waldegrave and the Duchess of Gloucester defied traditions with their avaunt-garde choice of wedding attire.

The Duchess wore “a white and silver brocaded gown and a large hat, which she also wore at the wedding dinner.” And then (oh, my heart be still) they went on a wedding trip unaccompanied, in their own carriage!

Thankfully, modern weddings have dropped the whole dowry thing. And the groom is no longer obligated to contribute “the trousseau jewel gift.”

Custom does still call for bridesmaids and bridegrooms, plus flower girls. But many other old traditions are less and less followed: the throwing of old shoes after the carriage of the bride, a loaf of bread for a new home, and a fruit cake as a wedding cake.

Old-fashioned honeymoons were to last anywhere from a week to a month; these days, it’s more likely to be limited to the amount of time the couple’s employers allow, and how long the bride and groom can afford to be without a paycheck.

Old sayings are also largely disregarded, like: “Marry in Lent and you'll live to repent, Marry in May and you'll rue the day.”

But enough of my whining. The venue’s fans and the misters will cool us all superbly and we’ll all be just fine.

To Jennifer and Jeff: Have the best day ever – we wish you all the happiness in the world!

Post Script: The wedding was marvelous; the bride and groom were so happy – absolutely gleeful! I survived without CPR, despite no air-conditioning.

Jim Harmon is a longtime Missoula news broadcaster, now retired, who writes a weekly history column for Missoula Current. You can contact Jim at fuzzyfossil187@gmail.com. His best-selling book, “The Sneakin’est Man That Ever Was,” a collection of 46 vignettes of Western Montana history, is available at harmonshistories.com.