Now don’t panic. So what if the special election in Pennsylvania (Penn 18) had the same Trump triumph percentage (20 percent) and same demographics (hugely Caucasian) as Montana. So what if the Democrat won? Stick with me. We’ll figure this out.
I think your message should be “I was Trump before there was Trump!” No, scratch that. “The tax cut we passed is the best thing since sliced bread!” No, that didn’t work. “My opponent will vote Nancy Pelosi’s way!” No, that didn’t get any traction. “Democrats are anti-flag, anti-USA, and . . . anti-God!” Well, even that didn’t work in Pennsylvania. We’ll think of something.
Don’t Punch Any Reporters Between Now and November
How’s the anger-management going? Have you set up that meeting to apologize to Ben, the reporter you body-slammed? Keep me posted.
Vote for Me, More for You
We could try to cast your vote for the $1.5 trillion windfall tax cut as a victory for the country, something honorable and unselfish. The little people don’t need to know you’re banking away millions. We don’t need to mention you’re busting the federal budget deficit with trillion-dollar annual deficits. See next idea.
Cuts in Medicare and Social Security Are Good
That’s the ticket. Let’s look at the bright side of the tax cut you gave yourself and the other oligarchs. Screw the skyrocketing federal deficits. Here’s our opportunity to say we can’t afford social programs anymore! There’s no money in the budget. You guys took it all.
If there’s one thing you don’t want to do in a Montana congressional race, it’s get hunters and fishermen pissed off. Wait. What’s that? You just proposed two bills to develop wilderness study areas and you’re supporting other bills to actively degrade designated wilderness? You think your buddy Zinky’s doing the right thing cutting National Park Service budgets while raising entrance fees to Yellowstone and Glacier? That’s not good . . . Maybe you shouldn’t mention it. And don’t hassle any fishermen who want public access to the Gallatin River in front of your place in Bozeman . . . at least until after November.
One More Thing
Now that I think of it, it looks like our elections consulting firm is going to be really, really busy between now and November. Perhaps you should try some other firm. I hear there are some good ones out there. Do you speak Russian?