By Jim Harmon

I admit it. I’m old. I’m nearing four score in human years (though I prefer my age to be expressed in dog years – it’s a much more flattering number).

When it comes to slang, I know just about every reference to the teen-speak of the 1950s, but as an old dog, I will be quick to admit I don’t know a thing about today’s youthful figures of speech. Let me share some of my research.

According to Dictionary.com’s Director of Lexicography, Grant Barrett, “Slang captivates because of its vibrancy and origins. Its most successful forms are spontaneous and creative, whether they emerge from online platforms or spreading through word-of-mouth.”

First, let’s look back to the 1950s and 1960s (my youthful era): A “person who conformed to traditional social norms,” was a “square.” Children were referred to as “ankle-biters” or “curtain climbers.”

Ankle-biting child
Ankle-biting child
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A “bird dog” was “someone who tries to steal your girlfriend,” as the Everly Brothers described in their hit song of the same title: “Johnny is a joker that's a-tryin' to steal my baby (he's a bird dog).”

A “dreamboat” described “one that is highly desirable; a very attractive person.

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“Fast” was a reference to someone who “allowed dating relationships to quickly become physical.” The Peter, Paul and Mary song, “In The Early Morning Rain,” used the line, “and the women all were fast.”

If you didn’t fit in the “fast” category, you were likely called a “party pooper” - someone who’s not fun to be around – or a “wet rag” who put a “damper on the fun.” Wet rags definitely did not engage in the game, “back seat bingo.” That was what we called making out in the back seat.

The '50s and '60s were the beat period, as in “beatnik” (a lifestyle of drugs and music). For little-old-naive-me, though, a beatnik was the Maynard G. Krebs character on the TV show, “The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis” (1959-1963).

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Krebs was played by Bob Denver, sporting a goatee, and looking scruffy and disheveled. A “doll” was a cute girl, some of whom were “paper shakers,” aka, cheerleaders. Some were “stacked” (an ample bosom). A “greaser” was a guy who slicked back his hair.

Now, I will enter into the “unknown:” today’s youth-speak. “Boujee” is high class or materialistic. “No Cap” means I’m not lying...or, bragging.“Dead” is something very funny, as in “you’re killing me.”

“Fit” is short for what you’re wearing (fit = outfit). “Girlboss” refers to a woman succeeding in “a man’s world.” “Gucci” or “Gooch” mean fashionable or cool.

“Wig” is a reference somebody who does things so well it makes your wig fly off (not applicable to bald men like me). Then, there’s “Sus,” short for suspicious.

How about the ever-popular, “iykyk?” That’s an acronym for an inside joke: “if you know, you know.” A few of today’s slang words are universal – used by both young and old.

“Karen” is an entitled, obnoxious white woman. “OK Boomer” is dismissive of baby boomers and their attitudes. “Slay” is to do something perfectly.

I did run across one phrase that I hadn’t heard before, and which I plan to start using straight away: “Touch Grass.”

It implies I should "go outside" - that I’ve been on social media for too long!

Message received. We’ll meet again next week at the same time.

I’m heading outside!

Jim Harmon is a longtime Missoula news broadcaster, now retired, who writes a weekly history column for Missoula Current. You can contact Jim at fuzzyfossil187@gmail.com. His best-selling book, “The Sneakin’est Man That Ever Was,” a collection of 46 vignettes of Western Montana history, is available at harmonshistories.com.